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- branco.valter
- 3 agosto 2016
BMW Engines Are Gigantic Pieces Of ****
Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
Few marques command as much respect from people who crave performance as BMW, and the M line of cars in particular are some of the most desirable and most powerful vehicles around. However, there’s a closely guarded secret that no respected publication would ever broach, and it’s that all BMW engines are monumental piles of unreliable garbage.
It’s no secret that German reliability is a myth. The likelihood of an average German car making it 10 years without several unplanned roadside mishaps approaches the same probability of you waking up tomorrow as Katy Perry.
Before I get several angry, slur-laden, and poorly-spelled emails from bimmer bros that need to prove that their 130,000 mile, salvage-title 335xi with the M-tech package is just as reliable as it was when they first decided to finance it for 96 months from their uncle’s buy-here-pay-here-lot, let me give you a little much-needed perspective.
Over the last few years, I’ve bought and sold some of BMW’s most desirable consumer cars. I’ve owned them, driven them, and most importantly, worked on them - five in total, ranging from the arguably benign E36 M3 to the staple of performance that is the E39 M5.
Without any hint of sarcasm or hyperbole, I can tell you that every single time I started any engine with a BMW badge on it, there was the same sense of concerned dread that the stereotypical bomb squad guys got in ‘80s action flicks. Starting and running a high-strung BMW engine that’s destined for daily driver duty without incident is like finding a briefcase with a big red LCD display with five seconds left, with the choice of cutting the red wire or the blue wire, as a sweating Danny Glover somewhere in the background tells you that he’s too old for this ****. It’s a literal time bomb.
Let’s take, for example, my old E36 M3. It featured a US-only spec 3.2 liter straight six cylinder engine that produced around 240 horsepower. It also had a unique problem in which the nut that held the sprocket driving the oil pump would fall off. Yes, the one thing that made sure your engine was oiled properly would simply fall apart, because it wasn’t torqued down properly from the factory.
If this part went, as it was apt to do over time, your engine, maligned by some as the worst M3 engine ever made, would be considered a prime candidate for the deadest M3 engine ever made, as the insides would turn themselves to confetti in short order. This wasn’t so much as a defect as it was a promise, a race against the clock that would net you one hell of a story to tell your friends as you cry into your already tear-soaked repair bill.
And that’s the reliable one.
If you move to more late model stuff, the situation gets a bit more dire. Let’s take the E46 M3, for example. It featured a 333-horsepower naturally aspirated inline six cylinder engine that was more unreliable than an AA meeting sponsored by Miller Lite. These engines were were plagued with connecting rod bearing failures, issues with the variable cam timing (VANOS), crankcase ventilation failures, hard starting, and their cooling systems were made of plastic and sealed, ensuring catastrophic failure where scalding hot coolant would shoot out of your engine bay, overheating your engine, at which point your head gasket would blow.
The same goes for every M-branded car that BMW has made in the last decade, and these problems are well-documented. The E60 M5's V10 will chew through its rod bearings in less than 60,000 miles and has rampant and costly SMG pump failures. The E92 M3 will also devour its rod bearings in short order. The new M3 and M4 engines have crank hub failures that take the engine out of sync and smash the valves into the pistons. They also suffer from oil cooler issues, in which overheating is a valid concern, especially if you’re the kind of person that drives your car like the PR reps claim you can around a track.
“Ah yes, but those are only the special, performance-only versions of engines BMW makes! The regular ones are the ones you want,” you type while the oil puddle underneath your car drips its way into the Earth one millimeter at a time. Sorry, but not quite.
For example, the E39 540i had timing chain guides made of melted jellybeans that would literally start disintegrating as soon as you even thought about the concept of an expired warranty, leaving a potentially huge chunky mess at the bottom of your oil pan, but that wouldn’t matter, as your oil pump mounting bolts would work themselves out way before that ever occurred. The engine would reduce itself from a taut, muscular bellow to a feeble, rattly, barely-running mess in about 120,000 miles, and that’s unacceptable for a $5000 Craigslist beater, much less a near-$60,000-when-new luxury performance sedan.
That’s exactly why I sold mine for a massive loss and couldn’t have been happier to get rid of the problematic nuisance.
The earlier inline-six cylinders featured in the 3 and 5 series cars also suffered from a brittle cooling system that would spring leaks and rupture without any advance notice, cooking up a recipe that ended with a blown head gasket and a classified listing that reads: “runs good, needs engine.”
Going further down the hierarchy, the relatively new N20-series engines that featured four cylinders and turbochargers experienced timing chain stretching that necessitated two weeks’ downtime and a new engine. Not the end of the world with a warranty, but bank account destroying if you’re one mile out of the safe zone.
At the very top of the non-performance totem pole is the 7 Series, a car known for shitting its valve guide seals. Though I wrote an explainer on how to fix the issue, the fact remains that these problems shouldn’t happen from a manufacturer that advertises its cars as “The Ultimate Driving Machine.”
If my anecdotes and forum sleuthing doesn’t persuade you, perhaps you can compare the aggregated long-term reliability of, say, any BMW model made in the last 20 years with that of a regular, boring-ass Toyota Corolla. The Bimmer consistently scores 20-30 points less than any comparable econobox, warranty or not.
At this point, I, as well as anyone with two brain cells to rub together, should be completely turned off to the idea of realistically owning a BMW if it has anything close to its original engine living in the bay. They may perform well for a period of time, but the very real risk of catastrophic failure on any or all of the internal components in these particular engines is enough to let anyone in the used car market stay the hell away.
http://thegarage.jalopnik.com/bmw-engines-are-gigantic-pieces-of-****-1784684330?rev=1470165325224&utm_campaign=socialflow_jalopnik_facebook&utm_source=jalopnik_facebook&utm_medium=socialflowora então já estou de volta e afinal não me deram o GLS 63 amg conforme combinado, segundo eles não tinham disponivel.
deram-me um X5 M que também não é nada mau.
posso dizer que adorei o bixo, dá para fazer condução tranquilíssima e mesmo com muita condução fora de AE fez uma média de 13L.
em estrada de montanha com o modo M dá um super gozo conduzir, o poder de ultrapassagem é impressionante. faz-nos esquecer que é um jipe pesadíssimo.traseira bruta!!!painel de instrumentos..
tenho um filme a ligar o carro mas não sei por...-
a loja do isolamento
- 16 agosto 2016
Belo bicho FFAD =)- branco.valter
- 16 agosto 2016
Ainda bem que é só alugado, senão depois de uns tempos de uso, lá se ia o motor... LOL
O bom aspecto, ninguém lhe tira!- branco.valter
- 24 agosto 2016
Conheça a nova "bomba" da Tesla
A fabricante automóvel apresentou esta terça feira uma nova versão do seu já conhecido Model S. O novo P100D tem uma bateria de 100 kWh e é, agora, de acordo com a empresa, o terceiro carro mais rápido do mundo.
Este novo P100D é o automóvel com a terceira aceleração mais rápida de sempre, conseguindo alcançar os 100 quilómetros por hora em apenas...2,5 segundos. Isto num carro elétrico de cinco lugares e cinco portas.
No entanto, esta nova bateria passa também a estar disponível para o Model X, tornando-o, de acordo com a Tesla, no SUV mais rápido do mundo (100 Km/h em 2.9 segundos) e aumentando a sua autonomia para 542 quilómetros.
O novo Model S P100D já pode ser encomendado e tem preços a partir dos 134.500 dólares sendo que as primeiras entregas serão feitas já durante o próximo mês de setembro. O Model X P100D, por sua vez, começa nos 135.500 dólares.-
a loja do isolamento
- 25 agosto 2016
Se eu pudesse era Tesla mesmo =) Esse carro é algo fenomenal.
E cá por Leiria já existem uma quantidade jeitosatambém vi esta semana que a Tesla já desenvolveu uma bateria que permite ter uma autonomia de 600km.
Assim já vale a pena.Se houvesse um eléctrico com autonomia de 500km com preço abaixo dos 30k ia haver uma meia dúzia de centrais nucleares em Portugal para alimentar tanto carro- Bricoleiro
- 25 agosto 2016
Colocado por: branco.valterA fabricante automóvel apresentou esta terça feira uma nova versão do seu já conhecido Model S. O novo P100D tem uma bateria de 100 kWh e é, agora, de acordo com a empresa, o terceiro carro mais rápido do mundo.
E isso serve para quê?
Quem é que quer comprar um carro desses eléctrico com essa estética se o objectivo for o carro mais rápido do Mundo compra logo um Ferrari, Lambo... Aston Martin ...por aí- 21papaleguas
- 25 agosto 2016
Eu quero, é pena não ter o dinheiro para ele.-
a loja do isolamento
- 25 agosto 2016
Colocado por: Bricoleiro
E isso serve para quê?
Quem é que quer comprar um carro desses eléctrico com essa estética se o objectivo for o carro mais rápido do Mundo compra logo um Ferrari, Lambo... Aston Martin ...por aí
Haverá sempre pontos de vista diferentes.Colocado por: 21papaleguasEu quero, é pena não ter o dinheiro para ele.
Também eu- bluthunder82
- 25 agosto 2016
Colocado por: ikSe houvesse um eléctrico com autonomia de 500km com preço abaixo dos 30k ia haver uma meia dúzia de centrais nucleares em Portugal para alimentar tanto carro
Não te preocupes que o que não falta cá são centrais hidricas e termicas para poder alimentar isso :)
Venham é carros desses a bom preçoColocado por: FFADapanhei uma promoção e reservei um mercedes GLS 63 AMG!!!
Então e que tal é esse monstro ?Colocado por: eu
Então e que tal é esse monstro ?
já comentei atrás...
afinal quando cheguei o merc não estava disponivel e fiquei com o x5 M.
M de monstro mesmo, apesar do peso, os 567cv fazem parecer que estamos a conduzir um carro super desportivo muito leve, é mesmo um bixo. Deu muito gozo conduzir e o consumo surpreendeu pela positiva.Boa tarde, Nao sei se estarei no bom lcoal para esta questao, mas aqui vai, e desde ja o meu obrigada aquem puder ajudar. Alguem aqui sabe quais os passos necessarios a dar para legalizar um carro em portugal? e ja agora quais os custos associados? Obrigadaobrigada, mas so mais uma questao ( sou bastante leiga no assunto) o valor de venda no pais, refere-se a que? Pois trata-se de um carro que comprei ha cerca de 6 anos, e nao percebo se o montante a indicar se trata do valor de quando o adquiri ou o valor comercial. obrigadamas bom, de qualquer forma, terei de contar com pelo menos 6000€, o que é um absurdo.... pois nos dois paises em que estive e onde necessitei de legalizar carros apenas tive de pagar ceca de 150/200€...Portugal é dos países da UE onde se paga mais pela legalização de um veículo por parte de residente no estrangeiro. Na maioria dos casos compensa vender o veículo e comprar novamente em Portugal. Daí haver neste momento tanto colecionador que adquire os veículos e não os legaliza cá, guardando-os nas condições de origem0.0988 seg. NEW
